physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How's work?
Spinning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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