Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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