I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
