I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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