If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
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there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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