it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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