its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize