dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
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he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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