I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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