weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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