so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize