i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
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I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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