Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
