she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
