i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
