He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
