my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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