i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
