I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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