Your dad touched me again.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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