My nipple is on Facebook.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
