making cat noises will not fix the situation.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
