where does the pee come out of this thing
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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