One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
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There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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