You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
