were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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