I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
