Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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