my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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