do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?