well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.