when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.