you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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