upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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