Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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