New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
