why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
