she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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