What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize