I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
