Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
