Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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