The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
