I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
