i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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