She is in my trunk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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