u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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