Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
