I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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