At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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