but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
