but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
