i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
