I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
