Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
