you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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