forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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