FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
