you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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